Grew Up Being Told You Were Smart? Here’s How to Shift Your Self-Talk and Mindset, According to Carol Dweck
- Connie Hurst
- 7 days ago
- 2 min read
Many adults were praised for being “smart” as kids. While it may have felt encouraging at the time, that kind of praise can set up a perfectionist mindset and a fear of failure. You might hesitate to try new things, feel anxious about making mistakes, or believe your worth is tied to being “right” or “talented.”
Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford, introduced the idea of the fixed mindset versus the growth mindset. A fixed mindset says your intelligence and abilities are set in stone. A growth mindset sees them as skills that can be developed over time.
If you’ve ever felt stuck because you were labeled “smart,” her work can help you rewrite that story — starting with your self-talk.
Start by Noticing Your Inner Dialogue
The voice in your head might say things like:
“If I mess this up, I’ll look incompetent.”
“I should already know how to do this.”
“If it doesn’t come easily, I’m not good at it.”
These thoughts come from a fixed mindset. To shift, start using language that reflects growth:
“I’m learning how to do this.”
“It’s okay to not be perfect. Progress matters.”
“Mistakes mean I’m stretching and improving.”
This kind of self-talk rewires your brain for resilience and confidence. Dweck calls it “the power of yet” — as in, “I haven’t mastered it yet.”
Watch and Listen to Carol Dweck’s Best Resources for Adults
If you’re ready to change your mindset and self-talk, these talks and podcasts are great places to start:
1. TED Talk: The Power of Believing That You Can Improve (10 minutes)
Dweck explains the basics of fixed and growth mindsets and how the word yet can shift your thinking.
2. Google Talk: Developing a Growth Mindset (40 minutes)
In this in-depth presentation, Dweck speaks directly to adults about how mindset shapes performance, learning, and leadership.
3. Podcast: Hidden Brain – The Mind of the Village
This episode explores how early beliefs about intelligence continue to shape us as adults.
4. Podcast: The Knowledge Project, Episode 66 with Carol Dweck
A thoughtful interview where Dweck discusses how professionals, parents, and leaders can get stuck in the “smart identity” and how to break free.
Listen here: https://fs.blog/carol-dweck/
Read: Mindset by Carol Dweck
Especially relevant chapters:
Chapter 1: The Mindsets
Chapter 7: Parents, Teachers, and Coaches
Chapter 8: Changing Mindsets
Takeaway
Being told you were smart isn’t the problem. The problem is when that label keeps you from growing, taking risks, or feeling okay with imperfection. The good news? You can change the way you talk to yourself and that can change how you learn, work, and relate to others.
Kommentare